Britain’s Top 10 Questions about Americans (according to Google)By
1. Do Americans like the British?
2. Do Americans like the English?
“Uh, didn’t you just ask that?” Seriously, we’re utterly baffled by the difference between the United Kingdom, Great Britain and England. Don’t even try to ask us what Wales is.
3. Do Americans care about the World Cup?
That’s the only time we do. And even then, we’ll really only watch the American matches. If it’s convenient. And we’ll be switching between that and whatever baseball game is on.
4. Do Americans like the English Accent?
Completely. That scene in “Love, Actually” with the American women going crazy for the English accent? Only slightly hyperbolic. Very slightly.
5. Do Americans watch Top Gear?
No, although I bet we’d love it if we gave it a try. Witty host, celebrities and fast cars: Its got it all. Unfortunately, we have the habit of trying to turn it into American productions sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.*
6. Do Americans eat custard?
We do, but in the midwest at least, the first thing we’ll think of when we hear custard is what you consider ice cream. That’s all thanks to a place you really must try: Culver’s.
7. Do Americans like British accents?
Again, didn’t you just ask that?
8. Do Americans drink tea?
Not with the same fervor you do. In America, tea is a drink just like coffee or hot chocolate or soda is. In the UK, it’s a ritual. My American cousin who lives in the UK and I both commiserate about being unintentionally rude by not offering tea to guests upon their arrival. In the UK, offering tea is every bit as important to welcoming someone into your home as asking to take someone’s coat or giving them a chair.
9. Do Americans like soccer?
We try to, we really do. But that forward-counting play clock too darn confusing. Even if you know the game lasts ninety minutes, the clock never stops at 90:00. We’ll stick to our downward-counting play clocks, thankyouverymuch.
10. Do Ameriacns say mate?
Only when we’re doing bad Steve Irwin impressions. To us “mate” = Australian. You Brits stick with “cheerio” and “’bout that time, eh chap?”
*Upon doing some research, I found out NBC has actually been trying to adapt Top Gear to an American series for the past few years. How about that?
This idea was stolen from my friend Chris’ fantastic blog about being an American living in Canada. You should really check it out.